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SUMMER SALE Spend £10+ 20% Discount Code: HOT2017

Birthday Cards For Women

Finding the right Birthday Cards for Women is a tricky task, get it wrong and you could cause irreversible damage. Therefore with much to be considered in the process, we have attempted to simplify this process by presenting a page containing some of the best from our massive collection

Best Selling Birthday Cards For Women

Not all of Birthday Cards for Her are included, particularly the Art Birthday Cards and Humour Cards also popular with the ladies

I love you Mum I love you Mum

I love you Mum

£2.40
Wonder Mum Wonder Mum

Wonder Mum

£2.40
I Love My Wonderful Mum I Love My Wonderful Mum

I Love My Wonderful Mum

£2.40
To the best Mum in the World To the best Mum in the World

To the best Mum in the World

£2.40
It’s Birthday o’clock the big hand is on the GIN It’s Birthday o’clock the big hand is on the GIN

It’s Birthday o’clock the big hand is on the GIN

£2.45
Another Year Another Year

Another Year

£2.40
Gardening Tools Gardening Tools

Gardening Tools

£2.50
Birthday Typewriter Birthday Typewriter

Birthday Typewriter

£2.50
It’s Your Birthday Layers Card It’s Your Birthday Layers Card

It’s Your Birthday Layers Card

£2.50
Hip Hip Hooray Card Hip Hip Hooray Card

Hip Hip Hooray Card

£2.50
Teapots Teapots

Teapots

£2.50
Birthday Ladies Bike Birthday Ladies Bike

Birthday Ladies Bike

£2.50
Ditsy Cupcakes Ditsy Cupcakes

Ditsy Cupcakes

£2.50
Chocoholics Chocoholics

Chocoholics

£2.50
50's Domestic Goddess 50's Domestic Goddess

50's Domestic Goddess

£2.50
Shopaholics Shopaholics

Shopaholics

£2.50
No Pain No Gain No Pain No Gain

No Pain No Gain

£2.50
Elegance Elegance

Elegance

£2.50
Obsession Obsession

Obsession

£2.50
Lenten Rose Lenten Rose

Lenten Rose

£2.50
Serenity Serenity

Serenity

£2.50
Sandy Cove Sandy Cove

Sandy Cove

£2.50
Pink Motors Pink Motors

Pink Motors

£2.40 £2.00
Scooters Scooters

Scooters

£2.40 £2.00
Coloured Camper Vans Coloured Camper Vans

Coloured Camper Vans

£2.40 £2.00
Pulling Faces Pulling Faces

Pulling Faces

£2.75
Devil Woman Devil Woman

Devil Woman

£2.40
Wishing You A Wonderful Birthday Wishing You A Wonderful Birthday

Wishing You A Wonderful Birthday

£2.40
Super Mum Super Mum

Super Mum

£2.40
Swinging Birthday Swinging Birthday

Swinging Birthday

£2.40
Simply, Love You... Simply, Love You...

Simply, Love You...

£2.40
Hope your Birthday is as lovely as your face ! Hope your Birthday is as lovely as your face !

Hope your Birthday is as lovely as your face !

£2.45
Looking Good! Looking Good!

Looking Good!

£2.40 £2.00
The Princess The Princess

The Princess

£2.60
You have reached the age where all compliments will be followed by ‘for your age’ You have reached the age where all compliments will be followed by ‘for your age’

You have reached the age where all compliments will be followed by ‘for your age’

£2.40
You've Still Got it! It's a shame nobody wants it You've Still Got it! It's a shame nobody wants it

You've Still Got it! It's a shame nobody wants it

£2.40
In dog years you're dead In dog years you're dead

In dog years you're dead

£2.40
Thanks a lot. The sweater was a huge hit at the dog park Thanks a lot. The sweater was a huge hit at the dog park

Thanks a lot. The sweater was a huge hit at the dog park

£2.70
This is bullshit. This is bullshit.

This is bullshit.

£2.70
It's called 'CBF' or medically speaking 'Catastrophic Botox Failure' It's called 'CBF' or medically speaking 'Catastrophic Botox Failure'

It's called 'CBF' or medically speaking 'Catastrophic Botox Failure'

£2.70
You know you're old, when you laugh and tears run down your legs You know you're old, when you laugh and tears run down your legs

You know you're old, when you laugh and tears run down your legs

£2.40
It’s lovely to see you at your age, so bitter, mean and full of malice  It’s lovely to see you at your age, so bitter, mean and full of malice 

It’s lovely to see you at your age, so bitter, mean and full of malice 

£2.40
Enjoy your day! Now go do that voodoo you do so well Enjoy your day! Now go do that voodoo you do so well

Enjoy your day! Now go do that voodoo you do so well

£2.40
She had been finding it difficult to cope, since becoming a mummy She had been finding it difficult to cope, since becoming a mummy

She had been finding it difficult to cope, since becoming a mummy

£2.40
The Secret of Staying Young? live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age The Secret of Staying Young? live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age

The Secret of Staying Young? live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age

£2.40
Let Us Never Speak of Your Age Again Let Us Never Speak of Your Age Again

Let Us Never Speak of Your Age Again

£2.40
But I can still hear the voices, Mummy But I can still hear the voices, Mummy

But I can still hear the voices, Mummy

£2.40
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it

£2.40
Oh look. Your husband's drowning Oh look. Your husband's drowning

Oh look. Your husband's drowning

£2.40
It Is Wine O'Clock Yet? It Is Wine O'Clock Yet?

It Is Wine O'Clock Yet?

£2.40
My grandmother started walking seven miles a day when she was your age? My grandmother started walking seven miles a day when she was your age?

My grandmother started walking seven miles a day when she was your age?

£2.40
I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in? I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

£2.40
If life doesn't scare the shit out of you. You're doing it wrong! If life doesn't scare the shit out of you. You're doing it wrong!

If life doesn't scare the shit out of you. You're doing it wrong!

£2.40
To you and your Babooning Bottom To you and your Babooning Bottom

To you and your Babooning Bottom

£2.40
Amazing Sister Amazing Sister

Amazing Sister

£2.45
Botox? Moi? Botox? Moi?

Botox? Moi?

£2.40
I just want revenge. Is that so wrong? I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?

I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?

£2.40
Everyone admires all the things you've done Everyone admires all the things you've done

Everyone admires all the things you've done

£2.45
When in doubt Brew Up When in doubt Brew Up

When in doubt Brew Up

£2.40
I have poor circulation, poor vision and terrible hearing... I have poor circulation, poor vision and terrible hearing...

I have poor circulation, poor vision and terrible hearing...

£2.45
I Know Your Real Age Bitch I Know Your Real Age Bitch

I Know Your Real Age Bitch

£2.40
Honey, you always were such a fresh-faced and lovely young thing. Honey, you always were such a fresh-faced and lovely young thing.

Honey, you always were such a fresh-faced and lovely young thing.

£2.50
I Deserve A Bloody Medal! I Deserve A Bloody Medal!

I Deserve A Bloody Medal!

£2.40
I’d say ‘go to hell’, but I don’t want to see you there I’d say ‘go to hell’, but I don’t want to see you there

I’d say ‘go to hell’, but I don’t want to see you there

£2.40
Another day, another waste of makeup Another day, another waste of makeup

Another day, another waste of makeup

£2.40
I still love Mother Nature, despite what she’s done to you I still love Mother Nature, despite what she’s done to you

I still love Mother Nature, despite what she’s done to you

£2.40
You're old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway. ‘Happy Birthday’ You're old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway. ‘Happy Birthday’

You're old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway. ‘Happy Birthday’

£2.40
I was going to buy you a kidney dialysis machine, but I didn’t want to take the piss out of you! I was going to buy you a kidney dialysis machine, but I didn’t want to take the piss out of you!

I was going to buy you a kidney dialysis machine, but I didn’t want to take the piss out of you!

£2.40
People who say size doesn't matter are shallow People who say size doesn't matter are shallow

People who say size doesn't matter are shallow

£2.40
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory

£2.40
Happy Birthday. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you Happy Birthday. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you

Happy Birthday. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you

£2.40
Simply, Ancient... Simply, Ancient...

Simply, Ancient...

£2.40
You shouldn’t compare yourself to others, they're more fucked up than you think You shouldn’t compare yourself to others, they're more fucked up than you think

You shouldn’t compare yourself to others, they're more fucked up than you think

£2.40
Men are like laxatives?. They irritate the shit out of me Men are like laxatives?. They irritate the shit out of me

Men are like laxatives?. They irritate the shit out of me

£2.40
Do I look like a fucking 'people person'?! Do I look like a fucking 'people person'?!

Do I look like a fucking 'people person'?!

£2.40
It’s nice to be young, healthy and full of energy. do you remember what that used to feel like? It’s nice to be young, healthy and full of energy. do you remember what that used to feel like?

It’s nice to be young, healthy and full of energy. do you remember what that used to feel like?

£2.40
You Look Great for Your Age - Almost Life-Like You Look Great for Your Age - Almost Life-Like

You Look Great for Your Age - Almost Life-Like

£2.45
Been Everywhere, Done Everything... Been Everywhere, Done Everything...

Been Everywhere, Done Everything...

£2.50
From now on you'll find that every birthday passes with increasing rapidity From now on you'll find that every birthday passes with increasing rapidity

From now on you'll find that every birthday passes with increasing rapidity

£2.45
Simply, Disgraceful... Simply, Disgraceful...

Simply, Disgraceful...

£2.40
Note to self: Must not take tranquilisers when doing the housework Note to self: Must not take tranquilisers when doing the housework

Note to self: Must not take tranquilisers when doing the housework

£2.40
Bi-Polar Bear Bi-Polar Bear

Bi-Polar Bear

£2.40
Today is all about YOU! Tomorrow your a nobody again Today is all about YOU! Tomorrow your a nobody again

Today is all about YOU! Tomorrow your a nobody again

£2.45
You're So Old I Kept the Receipt... You're So Old I Kept the Receipt...

You're So Old I Kept the Receipt...

£2.45
Almost nobody dances sober on their birthday. Unless they're insane! Almost nobody dances sober on their birthday. Unless they're insane!

Almost nobody dances sober on their birthday. Unless they're insane!

£2.40
Oh lord, give me patience and give it to me now Oh lord, give me patience and give it to me now

Oh lord, give me patience and give it to me now

£2.40
Now....whose mind shall I fuck with today.......? Now....whose mind shall I fuck with today.......?

Now....whose mind shall I fuck with today.......?

£2.40
Alright Darlin'? Alright Darlin'?

Alright Darlin'?

£2.40
Polite Notice. It's only your Birthday, not a major international crisis Polite Notice. It's only your Birthday, not a major international crisis

Polite Notice. It's only your Birthday, not a major international crisis

£2.40
Must I really celebrate your Birthday again...? Must I really celebrate your Birthday again...?

Must I really celebrate your Birthday again...?

£2.40
Keep It Real Keep It Real

Keep It Real

£2.70
Congratulations. On reaching piss stinking age Congratulations. On reaching piss stinking age

Congratulations. On reaching piss stinking age

£2.40
Keep bad odours at bay. Hang an air freshener from your sagging tits Keep bad odours at bay. Hang an air freshener from your sagging tits

Keep bad odours at bay. Hang an air freshener from your sagging tits

£2.40
Do you know you're such a good mate, you’d be the first person I'd call if I murdered someone Do you know you're such a good mate, you’d be the first person I'd call if I murdered someone

Do you know you're such a good mate, you’d be the first person I'd call if I murdered someone

£2.40
Everything you like is either immoral, illegal, fattening, addictive or expensive. Everything you like is either immoral, illegal, fattening, addictive or expensive.

Everything you like is either immoral, illegal, fattening, addictive or expensive.

£2.40
Don't Get Long In The Tit Don't Get Long In The Tit

Don't Get Long In The Tit

£2.40
Don’t worry, when you become senile, you won't even know it. Don’t worry, when you become senile, you won't even know it.

Don’t worry, when you become senile, you won't even know it.

£2.40
Well Tickle My Fancy Happy Birthday Well Tickle My Fancy Happy Birthday

Well Tickle My Fancy Happy Birthday

£2.40
Don’t worry I’ve also forgotten your name. Happy Birthday  Don’t worry I’ve also forgotten your name. Happy Birthday 

Don’t worry I’ve also forgotten your name. Happy Birthday 

£2.40
You should see the state of my mimsy You should see the state of my mimsy

You should see the state of my mimsy

£2.40
Happy Birthday to you and your Grey Pubes Happy Birthday to you and your Grey Pubes

Happy Birthday to you and your Grey Pubes

£2.40
Cat Woman 'I Knew It'. Cat Woman 'I Knew It'.

Cat Woman 'I Knew It'.

£2.70
Have A Fantastic Birthday. Preferably Somewhere Else Have A Fantastic Birthday. Preferably Somewhere Else

Have A Fantastic Birthday. Preferably Somewhere Else

£2.40
OK, This Yoga thing has really become a problem OK, This Yoga thing has really become a problem

OK, This Yoga thing has really become a problem

£2.70
Rub one out instead Rub one out instead

Rub one out instead

£2.40
Mommy's Working Mommy's Working

Mommy's Working

£2.70
Alice in Wonderland Alice in Wonderland

Alice in Wonderland

£2.70
I’m sorry to tell you. Your pussy is so old punters are complaining it’s haunted I’m sorry to tell you. Your pussy is so old punters are complaining it’s haunted

I’m sorry to tell you. Your pussy is so old punters are complaining it’s haunted

£2.40
If you were a plant, you’d be a penis fly trap If you were a plant, you’d be a penis fly trap

If you were a plant, you’d be a penis fly trap

£2.40
How do you keep so slim? With a simple daily diet of booze fags & dogging How do you keep so slim? With a simple daily diet of booze fags & dogging

How do you keep so slim? With a simple daily diet of booze fags & dogging

£2.40
Happy Birthday You and Your Breath of 1000 Dicks Happy Birthday You and Your Breath of 1000 Dicks

Happy Birthday You and Your Breath of 1000 Dicks

£2.40
I would kick you in the vagina but I don't want to lose my shoe I would kick you in the vagina but I don't want to lose my shoe

I would kick you in the vagina but I don't want to lose my shoe

£2.40
Happy Birthday to you and your Redundant Flange Happy Birthday to you and your Redundant Flange

Happy Birthday to you and your Redundant Flange

£2.40
Happy Birthday You Old Slapper Happy Birthday You Old Slapper

Happy Birthday You Old Slapper

£2.40
Happy Birthday Saggy Tits Happy Birthday Saggy Tits

Happy Birthday Saggy Tits

£2.40
I'm A Unicorn I'm A Unicorn

I'm A Unicorn

£2.70
Happy Birthday to you and your Yeast Infection Happy Birthday to you and your Yeast Infection

Happy Birthday to you and your Yeast Infection

£2.40
You are such a slut, we will have to bury you in a Y shaped coffin You are such a slut, we will have to bury you in a Y shaped coffin

You are such a slut, we will have to bury you in a Y shaped coffin

£2.40
Smile If You Had It Last Night! Smile If You Had It Last Night!

Smile If You Had It Last Night!

£2.40
Avon Calling Avon Calling

Avon Calling

£2.40
You know you're old when all your friends smell of piss You know you're old when all your friends smell of piss

You know you're old when all your friends smell of piss

£2.40
Never Darken My Dior Never Darken My Dior

Never Darken My Dior

£2.40
I distrust camels... and anyone else who can go a week without a drink I distrust camels... and anyone else who can go a week without a drink

I distrust camels... and anyone else who can go a week without a drink

£2.40
A balanced diet should not consist of a drink in each hand  A balanced diet should not consist of a drink in each hand 

A balanced diet should not consist of a drink in each hand 

£2.40
I say no to alcohol, but it doesn't listen I say no to alcohol, but it doesn't listen

I say no to alcohol, but it doesn't listen

£2.40
Your body should be a temple, not a genetically modified distillery Your body should be a temple, not a genetically modified distillery

Your body should be a temple, not a genetically modified distillery

£2.40
Chillax! It's Your Birthday Chillax! It's Your Birthday

Chillax! It's Your Birthday

£2.40
She was full of the joys of Spring and class A drugs She was full of the joys of Spring and class A drugs

She was full of the joys of Spring and class A drugs

£2.40
How do you manage to be such a wonderful mother? Pills and Alcohol How do you manage to be such a wonderful mother? Pills and Alcohol

How do you manage to be such a wonderful mother? Pills and Alcohol

£2.40
Have a couple of drinks to celebrate your birthday! Have a couple of drinks to celebrate your birthday!

Have a couple of drinks to celebrate your birthday!

£2.50
Ever been Bitch Slapped Ever been Bitch Slapped

Ever been Bitch Slapped

£2.75
I love you Mum I love you Mum

I love you Mum

£2.40
Wonder Mum Wonder Mum

Wonder Mum

£2.40
I Love My Wonderful Mum I Love My Wonderful Mum

I Love My Wonderful Mum

£2.40
To the best Mum in the World To the best Mum in the World

To the best Mum in the World

£2.40
It’s Birthday o’clock the big hand is on the GIN It’s Birthday o’clock the big hand is on the GIN

It’s Birthday o’clock the big hand is on the GIN

£2.45
Another Year Another Year

Another Year

£2.40
Gardening Tools Gardening Tools

Gardening Tools

£2.50
Birthday Typewriter Birthday Typewriter

Birthday Typewriter

£2.50
It’s Your Birthday Layers Card It’s Your Birthday Layers Card

It’s Your Birthday Layers Card

£2.50
Hip Hip Hooray Card Hip Hip Hooray Card

Hip Hip Hooray Card

£2.50
Teapots Teapots

Teapots

£2.50
Birthday Ladies Bike Birthday Ladies Bike

Birthday Ladies Bike

£2.50
Ditsy Cupcakes Ditsy Cupcakes

Ditsy Cupcakes

£2.50
Chocoholics Chocoholics

Chocoholics

£2.50
50's Domestic Goddess 50's Domestic Goddess

50's Domestic Goddess

£2.50
Shopaholics Shopaholics

Shopaholics

£2.50
No Pain No Gain No Pain No Gain

No Pain No Gain

£2.50
Elegance Elegance

Elegance

£2.50
Obsession Obsession

Obsession

£2.50
Lenten Rose Lenten Rose

Lenten Rose

£2.50
Serenity Serenity

Serenity

£2.50
Sandy Cove Sandy Cove

Sandy Cove

£2.50
Pink Motors Pink Motors

Pink Motors

£2.40 £2.00
Scooters Scooters

Scooters

£2.40 £2.00
Coloured Camper Vans Coloured Camper Vans

Coloured Camper Vans

£2.40 £2.00
Pulling Faces Pulling Faces

Pulling Faces

£2.75
Devil Woman Devil Woman

Devil Woman

£2.40
Wishing You A Wonderful Birthday Wishing You A Wonderful Birthday

Wishing You A Wonderful Birthday

£2.40
Super Mum Super Mum

Super Mum

£2.40
Swinging Birthday Swinging Birthday

Swinging Birthday

£2.40
Simply, Love You... Simply, Love You...

Simply, Love You...

£2.40
Hope your Birthday is as lovely as your face ! Hope your Birthday is as lovely as your face !

Hope your Birthday is as lovely as your face !

£2.45
Looking Good! Looking Good!

Looking Good!

£2.40 £2.00
The Princess The Princess

The Princess

£2.60
You have reached the age where all compliments will be followed by ‘for your age’ You have reached the age where all compliments will be followed by ‘for your age’

You have reached the age where all compliments will be followed by ‘for your age’

£2.40
You've Still Got it! It's a shame nobody wants it You've Still Got it! It's a shame nobody wants it

You've Still Got it! It's a shame nobody wants it

£2.40
In dog years you're dead In dog years you're dead

In dog years you're dead

£2.40
Thanks a lot. The sweater was a huge hit at the dog park Thanks a lot. The sweater was a huge hit at the dog park

Thanks a lot. The sweater was a huge hit at the dog park

£2.70
This is bullshit. This is bullshit.

This is bullshit.

£2.70
It's called 'CBF' or medically speaking 'Catastrophic Botox Failure' It's called 'CBF' or medically speaking 'Catastrophic Botox Failure'

It's called 'CBF' or medically speaking 'Catastrophic Botox Failure'

£2.70
You know you're old, when you laugh and tears run down your legs You know you're old, when you laugh and tears run down your legs

You know you're old, when you laugh and tears run down your legs

£2.40
It’s lovely to see you at your age, so bitter, mean and full of malice  It’s lovely to see you at your age, so bitter, mean and full of malice 

It’s lovely to see you at your age, so bitter, mean and full of malice 

£2.40
Enjoy your day! Now go do that voodoo you do so well Enjoy your day! Now go do that voodoo you do so well

Enjoy your day! Now go do that voodoo you do so well

£2.40
She had been finding it difficult to cope, since becoming a mummy She had been finding it difficult to cope, since becoming a mummy

She had been finding it difficult to cope, since becoming a mummy

£2.40
The Secret of Staying Young? live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age The Secret of Staying Young? live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age

The Secret of Staying Young? live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age

£2.40
Let Us Never Speak of Your Age Again Let Us Never Speak of Your Age Again

Let Us Never Speak of Your Age Again

£2.40
But I can still hear the voices, Mummy But I can still hear the voices, Mummy

But I can still hear the voices, Mummy

£2.40
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it

£2.40
Oh look. Your husband's drowning Oh look. Your husband's drowning

Oh look. Your husband's drowning

£2.40
It Is Wine O'Clock Yet? It Is Wine O'Clock Yet?

It Is Wine O'Clock Yet?

£2.40
My grandmother started walking seven miles a day when she was your age? My grandmother started walking seven miles a day when she was your age?

My grandmother started walking seven miles a day when she was your age?

£2.40
I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in? I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

£2.40
If life doesn't scare the shit out of you. You're doing it wrong! If life doesn't scare the shit out of you. You're doing it wrong!

If life doesn't scare the shit out of you. You're doing it wrong!

£2.40
To you and your Babooning Bottom To you and your Babooning Bottom

To you and your Babooning Bottom

£2.40
Amazing Sister Amazing Sister

Amazing Sister

£2.45
Botox? Moi? Botox? Moi?

Botox? Moi?

£2.40
I just want revenge. Is that so wrong? I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?

I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?

£2.40
Everyone admires all the things you've done Everyone admires all the things you've done

Everyone admires all the things you've done

£2.45
When in doubt Brew Up When in doubt Brew Up

When in doubt Brew Up

£2.40
I have poor circulation, poor vision and terrible hearing... I have poor circulation, poor vision and terrible hearing...

I have poor circulation, poor vision and terrible hearing...

£2.45
I Know Your Real Age Bitch I Know Your Real Age Bitch

I Know Your Real Age Bitch

£2.40
Honey, you always were such a fresh-faced and lovely young thing. Honey, you always were such a fresh-faced and lovely young thing.

Honey, you always were such a fresh-faced and lovely young thing.

£2.50
I Deserve A Bloody Medal! I Deserve A Bloody Medal!

I Deserve A Bloody Medal!

£2.40
I’d say ‘go to hell’, but I don’t want to see you there I’d say ‘go to hell’, but I don’t want to see you there

I’d say ‘go to hell’, but I don’t want to see you there

£2.40
Another day, another waste of makeup Another day, another waste of makeup

Another day, another waste of makeup

£2.40
I still love Mother Nature, despite what she’s done to you I still love Mother Nature, despite what she’s done to you

I still love Mother Nature, despite what she’s done to you

£2.40
You're old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway. ‘Happy Birthday’ You're old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway. ‘Happy Birthday’

You're old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway. ‘Happy Birthday’

£2.40
I was going to buy you a kidney dialysis machine, but I didn’t want to take the piss out of you! I was going to buy you a kidney dialysis machine, but I didn’t want to take the piss out of you!

I was going to buy you a kidney dialysis machine, but I didn’t want to take the piss out of you!

£2.40
People who say size doesn't matter are shallow People who say size doesn't matter are shallow

People who say size doesn't matter are shallow

£2.40
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory

£2.40
Happy Birthday. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you Happy Birthday. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you

Happy Birthday. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you

£2.40
Simply, Ancient... Simply, Ancient...

Simply, Ancient...

£2.40
You shouldn’t compare yourself to others, they're more fucked up than you think You shouldn’t compare yourself to others, they're more fucked up than you think

You shouldn’t compare yourself to others, they're more fucked up than you think

£2.40
Men are like laxatives?. They irritate the shit out of me Men are like laxatives?. They irritate the shit out of me

Men are like laxatives?. They irritate the shit out of me

£2.40
Do I look like a fucking 'people person'?! Do I look like a fucking 'people person'?!

Do I look like a fucking 'people person'?!

£2.40
It’s nice to be young, healthy and full of energy. do you remember what that used to feel like? It’s nice to be young, healthy and full of energy. do you remember what that used to feel like?

It’s nice to be young, healthy and full of energy. do you remember what that used to feel like?

£2.40
You Look Great for Your Age - Almost Life-Like You Look Great for Your Age - Almost Life-Like

You Look Great for Your Age - Almost Life-Like

£2.45
Been Everywhere, Done Everything... Been Everywhere, Done Everything...

Been Everywhere, Done Everything...

£2.50
From now on you'll find that every birthday passes with increasing rapidity From now on you'll find that every birthday passes with increasing rapidity

From now on you'll find that every birthday passes with increasing rapidity

£2.45
Simply, Disgraceful... Simply, Disgraceful...

Simply, Disgraceful...

£2.40
Note to self: Must not take tranquilisers when doing the housework Note to self: Must not take tranquilisers when doing the housework

Note to self: Must not take tranquilisers when doing the housework

£2.40
Bi-Polar Bear Bi-Polar Bear

Bi-Polar Bear

£2.40
Today is all about YOU! Tomorrow your a nobody again Today is all about YOU! Tomorrow your a nobody again

Today is all about YOU! Tomorrow your a nobody again

£2.45
You're So Old I Kept the Receipt... You're So Old I Kept the Receipt...

You're So Old I Kept the Receipt...

£2.45
Almost nobody dances sober on their birthday. Unless they're insane! Almost nobody dances sober on their birthday. Unless they're insane!

Almost nobody dances sober on their birthday. Unless they're insane!

£2.40
Oh lord, give me patience and give it to me now Oh lord, give me patience and give it to me now

Oh lord, give me patience and give it to me now

£2.40
Now....whose mind shall I fuck with today.......? Now....whose mind shall I fuck with today.......?

Now....whose mind shall I fuck with today.......?

£2.40
Alright Darlin'? Alright Darlin'?

Alright Darlin'?

£2.40
Polite Notice. It's only your Birthday, not a major international crisis Polite Notice. It's only your Birthday, not a major international crisis

Polite Notice. It's only your Birthday, not a major international crisis

£2.40
Must I really celebrate your Birthday again...? Must I really celebrate your Birthday again...?

Must I really celebrate your Birthday again...?

£2.40
Keep It Real Keep It Real

Keep It Real

£2.70
Congratulations. On reaching piss stinking age Congratulations. On reaching piss stinking age

Congratulations. On reaching piss stinking age

£2.40
Keep bad odours at bay. Hang an air freshener from your sagging tits Keep bad odours at bay. Hang an air freshener from your sagging tits

Keep bad odours at bay. Hang an air freshener from your sagging tits

£2.40
Do you know you're such a good mate, you’d be the first person I'd call if I murdered someone Do you know you're such a good mate, you’d be the first person I'd call if I murdered someone

Do you know you're such a good mate, you’d be the first person I'd call if I murdered someone

£2.40
Everything you like is either immoral, illegal, fattening, addictive or expensive. Everything you like is either immoral, illegal, fattening, addictive or expensive.

Everything you like is either immoral, illegal, fattening, addictive or expensive.

£2.40
Don't Get Long In The Tit Don't Get Long In The Tit

Don't Get Long In The Tit

£2.40
Don’t worry, when you become senile, you won't even know it. Don’t worry, when you become senile, you won't even know it.

Don’t worry, when you become senile, you won't even know it.

£2.40
Well Tickle My Fancy Happy Birthday Well Tickle My Fancy Happy Birthday

Well Tickle My Fancy Happy Birthday

£2.40
Don’t worry I’ve also forgotten your name. Happy Birthday  Don’t worry I’ve also forgotten your name. Happy Birthday 

Don’t worry I’ve also forgotten your name. Happy Birthday 

£2.40
You should see the state of my mimsy You should see the state of my mimsy

You should see the state of my mimsy

£2.40
Happy Birthday to you and your Grey Pubes Happy Birthday to you and your Grey Pubes

Happy Birthday to you and your Grey Pubes

£2.40
Cat Woman 'I Knew It'. Cat Woman 'I Knew It'.

Cat Woman 'I Knew It'.

£2.70
Have A Fantastic Birthday. Preferably Somewhere Else Have A Fantastic Birthday. Preferably Somewhere Else

Have A Fantastic Birthday. Preferably Somewhere Else

£2.40
OK, This Yoga thing has really become a problem OK, This Yoga thing has really become a problem

OK, This Yoga thing has really become a problem

£2.70
Rub one out instead Rub one out instead

Rub one out instead

£2.40
Mommy's Working Mommy's Working

Mommy's Working

£2.70
Alice in Wonderland Alice in Wonderland

Alice in Wonderland

£2.70
I’m sorry to tell you. Your pussy is so old punters are complaining it’s haunted I’m sorry to tell you. Your pussy is so old punters are complaining it’s haunted

I’m sorry to tell you. Your pussy is so old punters are complaining it’s haunted

£2.40
If you were a plant, you’d be a penis fly trap If you were a plant, you’d be a penis fly trap

If you were a plant, you’d be a penis fly trap

£2.40
How do you keep so slim? With a simple daily diet of booze fags & dogging How do you keep so slim? With a simple daily diet of booze fags & dogging

How do you keep so slim? With a simple daily diet of booze fags & dogging

£2.40
Happy Birthday You and Your Breath of 1000 Dicks Happy Birthday You and Your Breath of 1000 Dicks

Happy Birthday You and Your Breath of 1000 Dicks

£2.40
I would kick you in the vagina but I don't want to lose my shoe I would kick you in the vagina but I don't want to lose my shoe

I would kick you in the vagina but I don't want to lose my shoe

£2.40
Happy Birthday to you and your Redundant Flange Happy Birthday to you and your Redundant Flange

Happy Birthday to you and your Redundant Flange

£2.40
Happy Birthday You Old Slapper Happy Birthday You Old Slapper

Happy Birthday You Old Slapper

£2.40
Happy Birthday Saggy Tits Happy Birthday Saggy Tits

Happy Birthday Saggy Tits

£2.40
I'm A Unicorn I'm A Unicorn

I'm A Unicorn

£2.70
Happy Birthday to you and your Yeast Infection Happy Birthday to you and your Yeast Infection

Happy Birthday to you and your Yeast Infection

£2.40
You are such a slut, we will have to bury you in a Y shaped coffin You are such a slut, we will have to bury you in a Y shaped coffin

You are such a slut, we will have to bury you in a Y shaped coffin

£2.40
Smile If You Had It Last Night! Smile If You Had It Last Night!

Smile If You Had It Last Night!

£2.40
Avon Calling Avon Calling

Avon Calling

£2.40
You know you're old when all your friends smell of piss You know you're old when all your friends smell of piss

You know you're old when all your friends smell of piss

£2.40
Never Darken My Dior Never Darken My Dior

Never Darken My Dior

£2.40
I distrust camels... and anyone else who can go a week without a drink I distrust camels... and anyone else who can go a week without a drink

I distrust camels... and anyone else who can go a week without a drink

£2.40
A balanced diet should not consist of a drink in each hand  A balanced diet should not consist of a drink in each hand 

A balanced diet should not consist of a drink in each hand 

£2.40
I say no to alcohol, but it doesn't listen I say no to alcohol, but it doesn't listen

I say no to alcohol, but it doesn't listen

£2.40
Your body should be a temple, not a genetically modified distillery Your body should be a temple, not a genetically modified distillery

Your body should be a temple, not a genetically modified distillery

£2.40
Chillax! It's Your Birthday Chillax! It's Your Birthday

Chillax! It's Your Birthday

£2.40
She was full of the joys of Spring and class A drugs She was full of the joys of Spring and class A drugs

She was full of the joys of Spring and class A drugs

£2.40
How do you manage to be such a wonderful mother? Pills and Alcohol How do you manage to be such a wonderful mother? Pills and Alcohol

How do you manage to be such a wonderful mother? Pills and Alcohol

£2.40
Have a couple of drinks to celebrate your birthday! Have a couple of drinks to celebrate your birthday!

Have a couple of drinks to celebrate your birthday!

£2.50
Ever been Bitch Slapped Ever been Bitch Slapped

Ever been Bitch Slapped

£2.75
I love you Mum

I love you Mum

£2.40
Wonder Mum

Wonder Mum

£2.40
I Love My Wonderful Mum

I Love My Wonderful Mum

£2.40
To the best Mum in the World

To the best Mum in the World

£2.40
It’s Birthday o’clock the big hand is on the GIN

It’s Birthday o’clock the big hand is on the GIN

£2.45
Another Year

Another Year

£2.40
Gardening Tools

Gardening Tools

£2.50
Birthday Typewriter

Birthday Typewriter

£2.50
It’s Your Birthday Layers Card

It’s Your Birthday Layers Card

£2.50
Hip Hip Hooray Card

Hip Hip Hooray Card

£2.50
Teapots

Teapots

£2.50
Birthday Ladies Bike

Birthday Ladies Bike

£2.50
Ditsy Cupcakes

Ditsy Cupcakes

£2.50
Chocoholics

Chocoholics

£2.50
50's Domestic Goddess

50's Domestic Goddess

£2.50
Shopaholics

Shopaholics

£2.50
No Pain No Gain

No Pain No Gain

£2.50
Elegance

Elegance

£2.50
Obsession

Obsession

£2.50
Lenten Rose

Lenten Rose

£2.50
Serenity

Serenity

£2.50
Sandy Cove

Sandy Cove

£2.50
Pink Motors

Pink Motors

£2.40 £2.00
Scooters

Scooters

£2.40 £2.00
Coloured Camper Vans

Coloured Camper Vans

£2.40 £2.00
Pulling Faces

Pulling Faces

£2.75
Devil Woman

Devil Woman

£2.40
Wishing You A Wonderful Birthday

Wishing You A Wonderful Birthday

£2.40
Super Mum

Super Mum

£2.40
Swinging Birthday

Swinging Birthday

£2.40
Simply, Love You...

Simply, Love You...

£2.40
Hope your Birthday is as lovely as your face !

Hope your Birthday is as lovely as your face !

£2.45
Looking Good!

Looking Good!

£2.40 £2.00
The Princess

The Princess

£2.60
You have reached the age where all compliments will be followed by ‘for your age’

You have reached the age where all compliments will be followed by ‘for your age’

£2.40
You've Still Got it! It's a shame nobody wants it

You've Still Got it! It's a shame nobody wants it

£2.40
In dog years you're dead

In dog years you're dead

£2.40
Thanks a lot. The sweater was a huge hit at the dog park

Thanks a lot. The sweater was a huge hit at the dog park

£2.70
This is bullshit.

This is bullshit.

£2.70
It's called 'CBF' or medically speaking 'Catastrophic Botox Failure'

It's called 'CBF' or medically speaking 'Catastrophic Botox Failure'

£2.70
You know you're old, when you laugh and tears run down your legs

You know you're old, when you laugh and tears run down your legs

£2.40
It’s lovely to see you at your age, so bitter, mean and full of malice 

It’s lovely to see you at your age, so bitter, mean and full of malice 

£2.40
Enjoy your day! Now go do that voodoo you do so well

Enjoy your day! Now go do that voodoo you do so well

£2.40
She had been finding it difficult to cope, since becoming a mummy

She had been finding it difficult to cope, since becoming a mummy

£2.40
The Secret of Staying Young? live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age

The Secret of Staying Young? live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age

£2.40
Let Us Never Speak of Your Age Again

Let Us Never Speak of Your Age Again

£2.40
But I can still hear the voices, Mummy

But I can still hear the voices, Mummy

£2.40
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it

£2.40
Oh look. Your husband's drowning

Oh look. Your husband's drowning

£2.40
It Is Wine O'Clock Yet?

It Is Wine O'Clock Yet?

£2.40
My grandmother started walking seven miles a day when she was your age?

My grandmother started walking seven miles a day when she was your age?

£2.40
I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

£2.40
If life doesn't scare the shit out of you. You're doing it wrong!

If life doesn't scare the shit out of you. You're doing it wrong!

£2.40
To you and your Babooning Bottom

To you and your Babooning Bottom

£2.40
Amazing Sister

Amazing Sister

£2.45
Botox? Moi?

Botox? Moi?

£2.40
I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?

I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?

£2.40
Everyone admires all the things you've done

Everyone admires all the things you've done

£2.45
When in doubt Brew Up

When in doubt Brew Up

£2.40
I have poor circulation, poor vision and terrible hearing...

I have poor circulation, poor vision and terrible hearing...

£2.45
I Know Your Real Age Bitch

I Know Your Real Age Bitch

£2.40
Honey, you always were such a fresh-faced and lovely young thing.

Honey, you always were such a fresh-faced and lovely young thing.

£2.50
I Deserve A Bloody Medal!

I Deserve A Bloody Medal!

£2.40
I’d say ‘go to hell’, but I don’t want to see you there

I’d say ‘go to hell’, but I don’t want to see you there

£2.40
Another day, another waste of makeup

Another day, another waste of makeup

£2.40
I still love Mother Nature, despite what she’s done to you

I still love Mother Nature, despite what she’s done to you

£2.40
You're old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway. ‘Happy Birthday’

You're old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway. ‘Happy Birthday’

£2.40
I was going to buy you a kidney dialysis machine, but I didn’t want to take the piss out of you!

I was going to buy you a kidney dialysis machine, but I didn’t want to take the piss out of you!

£2.40
People who say size doesn't matter are shallow

People who say size doesn't matter are shallow

£2.40
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory

£2.40
Happy Birthday. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you

Happy Birthday. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you

£2.40
Simply, Ancient...

Simply, Ancient...

£2.40
You shouldn’t compare yourself to others, they're more fucked up than you think

You shouldn’t compare yourself to others, they're more fucked up than you think

£2.40
Men are like laxatives?. They irritate the shit out of me

Men are like laxatives?. They irritate the shit out of me

£2.40
Do I look like a fucking 'people person'?!

Do I look like a fucking 'people person'?!

£2.40
It’s nice to be young, healthy and full of energy. do you remember what that used to feel like?

It’s nice to be young, healthy and full of energy. do you remember what that used to feel like?

£2.40
You Look Great for Your Age - Almost Life-Like

You Look Great for Your Age - Almost Life-Like

£2.45
Been Everywhere, Done Everything...

Been Everywhere, Done Everything...

£2.50
From now on you'll find that every birthday passes with increasing rapidity

From now on you'll find that every birthday passes with increasing rapidity

£2.45
Simply, Disgraceful...

Simply, Disgraceful...

£2.40
Note to self: Must not take tranquilisers when doing the housework

Note to self: Must not take tranquilisers when doing the housework

£2.40
Bi-Polar Bear

Bi-Polar Bear

£2.40
Today is all about YOU! Tomorrow your a nobody again

Today is all about YOU! Tomorrow your a nobody again

£2.45
You're So Old I Kept the Receipt...

You're So Old I Kept the Receipt...

£2.45
Almost nobody dances sober on their birthday. Unless they're insane!

Almost nobody dances sober on their birthday. Unless they're insane!

£2.40
Oh lord, give me patience and give it to me now

Oh lord, give me patience and give it to me now

£2.40
Now....whose mind shall I fuck with today.......?

Now....whose mind shall I fuck with today.......?

£2.40
Alright Darlin'?

Alright Darlin'?

£2.40
Polite Notice. It's only your Birthday, not a major international crisis

Polite Notice. It's only your Birthday, not a major international crisis

£2.40
Must I really celebrate your Birthday again...?

Must I really celebrate your Birthday again...?

£2.40
Keep It Real

Keep It Real

£2.70
Congratulations. On reaching piss stinking age

Congratulations. On reaching piss stinking age

£2.40
Keep bad odours at bay. Hang an air freshener from your sagging tits

Keep bad odours at bay. Hang an air freshener from your sagging tits

£2.40
Do you know you're such a good mate, you’d be the first person I'd call if I murdered someone

Do you know you're such a good mate, you’d be the first person I'd call if I murdered someone

£2.40
Everything you like is either immoral, illegal, fattening, addictive or expensive.

Everything you like is either immoral, illegal, fattening, addictive or expensive.

£2.40
Don't Get Long In The Tit

Don't Get Long In The Tit

£2.40
Don’t worry, when you become senile, you won't even know it.

Don’t worry, when you become senile, you won't even know it.

£2.40
Well Tickle My Fancy Happy Birthday

Well Tickle My Fancy Happy Birthday

£2.40
Don’t worry I’ve also forgotten your name. Happy Birthday 

Don’t worry I’ve also forgotten your name. Happy Birthday 

£2.40
You should see the state of my mimsy

You should see the state of my mimsy

£2.40
Happy Birthday to you and your Grey Pubes

Happy Birthday to you and your Grey Pubes

£2.40
Cat Woman 'I Knew It'.

Cat Woman 'I Knew It'.

£2.70
Have A Fantastic Birthday. Preferably Somewhere Else

Have A Fantastic Birthday. Preferably Somewhere Else

£2.40
OK, This Yoga thing has really become a problem

OK, This Yoga thing has really become a problem

£2.70
Rub one out instead

Rub one out instead

£2.40
Mommy's Working

Mommy's Working

£2.70
Alice in Wonderland

Alice in Wonderland

£2.70
I’m sorry to tell you. Your pussy is so old punters are complaining it’s haunted

I’m sorry to tell you. Your pussy is so old punters are complaining it’s haunted

£2.40
If you were a plant, you’d be a penis fly trap

If you were a plant, you’d be a penis fly trap

£2.40
How do you keep so slim? With a simple daily diet of booze fags & dogging

How do you keep so slim? With a simple daily diet of booze fags & dogging

£2.40
Happy Birthday You and Your Breath of 1000 Dicks

Happy Birthday You and Your Breath of 1000 Dicks

£2.40
I would kick you in the vagina but I don't want to lose my shoe

I would kick you in the vagina but I don't want to lose my shoe

£2.40
Happy Birthday to you and your Redundant Flange

Happy Birthday to you and your Redundant Flange

£2.40
Happy Birthday You Old Slapper

Happy Birthday You Old Slapper

£2.40
Happy Birthday Saggy Tits

Happy Birthday Saggy Tits

£2.40
I'm A Unicorn

I'm A Unicorn

£2.70
Happy Birthday to you and your Yeast Infection

Happy Birthday to you and your Yeast Infection

£2.40
You are such a slut, we will have to bury you in a Y shaped coffin

You are such a slut, we will have to bury you in a Y shaped coffin

£2.40
Smile If You Had It Last Night!

Smile If You Had It Last Night!

£2.40
Avon Calling

Avon Calling

£2.40
You know you're old when all your friends smell of piss

You know you're old when all your friends smell of piss

£2.40
Never Darken My Dior

Never Darken My Dior

£2.40
I distrust camels... and anyone else who can go a week without a drink

I distrust camels... and anyone else who can go a week without a drink

£2.40
A balanced diet should not consist of a drink in each hand 

A balanced diet should not consist of a drink in each hand 

£2.40
I say no to alcohol, but it doesn't listen

I say no to alcohol, but it doesn't listen

£2.40
Your body should be a temple, not a genetically modified distillery

Your body should be a temple, not a genetically modified distillery

£2.40
Chillax! It's Your Birthday

Chillax! It's Your Birthday

£2.40
She was full of the joys of Spring and class A drugs

She was full of the joys of Spring and class A drugs

£2.40
How do you manage to be such a wonderful mother? Pills and Alcohol

How do you manage to be such a wonderful mother? Pills and Alcohol

£2.40
Have a couple of drinks to celebrate your birthday!

Have a couple of drinks to celebrate your birthday!

£2.50
Ever been Bitch Slapped

Ever been Bitch Slapped

£2.75
I love you Mum I love you Mum
£2.40
Wonder Mum Wonder Mum
£2.40
I Love My Wonderful Mum I Love My Wonderful Mum
£2.40
To the best Mum in the World To the best Mum in the World
£2.40
It’s Birthday o’clock the big hand is on the GIN It’s Birthday o’clock the big hand is on the GIN
£2.45
Another Year Another Year
£2.40
Gardening Tools Gardening Tools
£2.50
Birthday Typewriter Birthday Typewriter
£2.50
It’s Your Birthday Layers Card It’s Your Birthday Layers Card
£2.50
Hip Hip Hooray Card Hip Hip Hooray Card
£2.50
Teapots Teapots
£2.50
Birthday Ladies Bike Birthday Ladies Bike
£2.50
Ditsy Cupcakes Ditsy Cupcakes
£2.50
Chocoholics Chocoholics
£2.50
50's Domestic Goddess 50's Domestic Goddess
£2.50
Shopaholics Shopaholics
£2.50
No Pain No Gain No Pain No Gain
£2.50
Elegance Elegance
£2.50
Obsession Obsession
£2.50
Lenten Rose Lenten Rose
£2.50
Serenity Serenity
£2.50
Sandy Cove Sandy Cove
£2.50
Pink Motors Pink Motors
£2.40 £2.00
Scooters Scooters
£2.40 £2.00
Coloured Camper Vans Coloured Camper Vans
£2.40 £2.00
Pulling Faces Pulling Faces
£2.75
Devil Woman Devil Woman
£2.40
Wishing You A Wonderful Birthday Wishing You A Wonderful Birthday
£2.40
Super Mum Super Mum
£2.40
Swinging Birthday Swinging Birthday
£2.40
Simply, Love You... Simply, Love You...
£2.40
Hope your Birthday is as lovely as your face ! Hope your Birthday is as lovely as your face !
£2.45
Looking Good! Looking Good!
£2.40 £2.00
The Princess The Princess
£2.60
You have reached the age where all compliments will be followed by ‘for your age’ You have reached the age where all compliments will be followed by ‘for your age’
£2.40
You've Still Got it! It's a shame nobody wants it You've Still Got it! It's a shame nobody wants it
£2.40
In dog years you're dead In dog years you're dead
£2.40
Thanks a lot. The sweater was a huge hit at the dog park Thanks a lot. The sweater was a huge hit at the dog park
£2.70
This is bullshit. This is bullshit.
£2.70
It's called 'CBF' or medically speaking 'Catastrophic Botox Failure' It's called 'CBF' or medically speaking 'Catastrophic Botox Failure'
£2.70
You know you're old, when you laugh and tears run down your legs You know you're old, when you laugh and tears run down your legs
£2.40
It’s lovely to see you at your age, so bitter, mean and full of malice  It’s lovely to see you at your age, so bitter, mean and full of malice 
£2.40
Enjoy your day! Now go do that voodoo you do so well Enjoy your day! Now go do that voodoo you do so well
£2.40
She had been finding it difficult to cope, since becoming a mummy She had been finding it difficult to cope, since becoming a mummy
£2.40
The Secret of Staying Young? live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age The Secret of Staying Young? live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age
£2.40
Let Us Never Speak of Your Age Again Let Us Never Speak of Your Age Again
£2.40
But I can still hear the voices, Mummy But I can still hear the voices, Mummy
£2.40
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it
£2.40
Oh look. Your husband's drowning Oh look. Your husband's drowning
£2.40
It Is Wine O'Clock Yet? It Is Wine O'Clock Yet?
£2.40
My grandmother started walking seven miles a day when she was your age? My grandmother started walking seven miles a day when she was your age?
£2.40
I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in? I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
£2.40
If life doesn't scare the shit out of you. You're doing it wrong! If life doesn't scare the shit out of you. You're doing it wrong!
£2.40
To you and your Babooning Bottom To you and your Babooning Bottom
£2.40
Amazing Sister Amazing Sister
£2.45
Botox? Moi? Botox? Moi?
£2.40
I just want revenge. Is that so wrong? I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?
£2.40
Everyone admires all the things you've done Everyone admires all the things you've done
£2.45
When in doubt Brew Up When in doubt Brew Up
£2.40
I have poor circulation, poor vision and terrible hearing... I have poor circulation, poor vision and terrible hearing...
£2.45
I Know Your Real Age Bitch I Know Your Real Age Bitch
£2.40
Honey, you always were such a fresh-faced and lovely young thing. Honey, you always were such a fresh-faced and lovely young thing.
£2.50
I Deserve A Bloody Medal! I Deserve A Bloody Medal!
£2.40
I’d say ‘go to hell’, but I don’t want to see you there I’d say ‘go to hell’, but I don’t want to see you there
£2.40
Another day, another waste of makeup Another day, another waste of makeup
£2.40
I still love Mother Nature, despite what she’s done to you I still love Mother Nature, despite what she’s done to you
£2.40
You're old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway. ‘Happy Birthday’ You're old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway. ‘Happy Birthday’
£2.40
I was going to buy you a kidney dialysis machine, but I didn’t want to take the piss out of you! I was going to buy you a kidney dialysis machine, but I didn’t want to take the piss out of you!
£2.40
People who say size doesn't matter are shallow People who say size doesn't matter are shallow
£2.40
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory
£2.40
Happy Birthday. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you Happy Birthday. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you
£2.40
Simply, Ancient... Simply, Ancient...
£2.40
You shouldn’t compare yourself to others, they're more fucked up than you think You shouldn’t compare yourself to others, they're more fucked up than you think
£2.40
Men are like laxatives?. They irritate the shit out of me Men are like laxatives?. They irritate the shit out of me
£2.40
Do I look like a fucking 'people person'?! Do I look like a fucking 'people person'?!
£2.40
It’s nice to be young, healthy and full of energy. do you remember what that used to feel like? It’s nice to be young, healthy and full of energy. do you remember what that used to feel like?
£2.40
You Look Great for Your Age - Almost Life-Like You Look Great for Your Age - Almost Life-Like
£2.45
Been Everywhere, Done Everything... Been Everywhere, Done Everything...
£2.50
From now on you'll find that every birthday passes with increasing rapidity From now on you'll find that every birthday passes with increasing rapidity
£2.45
Simply, Disgraceful... Simply, Disgraceful...
£2.40
Note to self: Must not take tranquilisers when doing the housework Note to self: Must not take tranquilisers when doing the housework
£2.40
Bi-Polar Bear Bi-Polar Bear
£2.40
Today is all about YOU! Tomorrow your a nobody again Today is all about YOU! Tomorrow your a nobody again
£2.45
You're So Old I Kept the Receipt... You're So Old I Kept the Receipt...
£2.45
Almost nobody dances sober on their birthday. Unless they're insane! Almost nobody dances sober on their birthday. Unless they're insane!
£2.40
Oh lord, give me patience and give it to me now Oh lord, give me patience and give it to me now
£2.40
Now....whose mind shall I fuck with today.......? Now....whose mind shall I fuck with today.......?
£2.40
Alright Darlin'? Alright Darlin'?
£2.40
Polite Notice. It's only your Birthday, not a major international crisis Polite Notice. It's only your Birthday, not a major international crisis
£2.40
Must I really celebrate your Birthday again...? Must I really celebrate your Birthday again...?
£2.40
Keep It Real Keep It Real
£2.70
Congratulations. On reaching piss stinking age Congratulations. On reaching piss stinking age
£2.40
Keep bad odours at bay. Hang an air freshener from your sagging tits Keep bad odours at bay. Hang an air freshener from your sagging tits
£2.40
Do you know you're such a good mate, you’d be the first person I'd call if I murdered someone Do you know you're such a good mate, you’d be the first person I'd call if I murdered someone
£2.40
Everything you like is either immoral, illegal, fattening, addictive or expensive. Everything you like is either immoral, illegal, fattening, addictive or expensive.
£2.40
Don't Get Long In The Tit Don't Get Long In The Tit
£2.40
Don’t worry, when you become senile, you won't even know it. Don’t worry, when you become senile, you won't even know it.
£2.40
Well Tickle My Fancy Happy Birthday Well Tickle My Fancy Happy Birthday
£2.40
Don’t worry I’ve also forgotten your name. Happy Birthday  Don’t worry I’ve also forgotten your name. Happy Birthday 
£2.40
You should see the state of my mimsy You should see the state of my mimsy
£2.40
Happy Birthday to you and your Grey Pubes Happy Birthday to you and your Grey Pubes
£2.40
Cat Woman 'I Knew It'. Cat Woman 'I Knew It'.
£2.70
Have A Fantastic Birthday. Preferably Somewhere Else Have A Fantastic Birthday. Preferably Somewhere Else
£2.40
OK, This Yoga thing has really become a problem OK, This Yoga thing has really become a problem
£2.70
Rub one out instead Rub one out instead
£2.40
Mommy's Working Mommy's Working
£2.70
Alice in Wonderland Alice in Wonderland
£2.70
I’m sorry to tell you. Your pussy is so old punters are complaining it’s haunted I’m sorry to tell you. Your pussy is so old punters are complaining it’s haunted
£2.40
If you were a plant, you’d be a penis fly trap If you were a plant, you’d be a penis fly trap
£2.40
How do you keep so slim? With a simple daily diet of booze fags & dogging How do you keep so slim? With a simple daily diet of booze fags & dogging
£2.40
Happy Birthday You and Your Breath of 1000 Dicks Happy Birthday You and Your Breath of 1000 Dicks
£2.40
I would kick you in the vagina but I don't want to lose my shoe I would kick you in the vagina but I don't want to lose my shoe
£2.40
Happy Birthday to you and your Redundant Flange Happy Birthday to you and your Redundant Flange
£2.40
Happy Birthday You Old Slapper Happy Birthday You Old Slapper
£2.40
Happy Birthday Saggy Tits Happy Birthday Saggy Tits
£2.40
I'm A Unicorn I'm A Unicorn
£2.70
Happy Birthday to you and your Yeast Infection Happy Birthday to you and your Yeast Infection
£2.40
You are such a slut, we will have to bury you in a Y shaped coffin You are such a slut, we will have to bury you in a Y shaped coffin
£2.40
Smile If You Had It Last Night! Smile If You Had It Last Night!
£2.40
Avon Calling Avon Calling
£2.40
You know you're old when all your friends smell of piss You know you're old when all your friends smell of piss
£2.40
Never Darken My Dior Never Darken My Dior
£2.40
I distrust camels... and anyone else who can go a week without a drink I distrust camels... and anyone else who can go a week without a drink
£2.40
A balanced diet should not consist of a drink in each hand  A balanced diet should not consist of a drink in each hand 
£2.40
I say no to alcohol, but it doesn't listen I say no to alcohol, but it doesn't listen
£2.40
Your body should be a temple, not a genetically modified distillery Your body should be a temple, not a genetically modified distillery
£2.40
Chillax! It's Your Birthday Chillax! It's Your Birthday
£2.40
She was full of the joys of Spring and class A drugs She was full of the joys of Spring and class A drugs
£2.40
How do you manage to be such a wonderful mother? Pills and Alcohol How do you manage to be such a wonderful mother? Pills and Alcohol
£2.40
Have a couple of drinks to celebrate your birthday! Have a couple of drinks to celebrate your birthday!
£2.50
Ever been Bitch Slapped Ever been Bitch Slapped
£2.75

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Birthday Cards for Men

Need a cards for the man in your life, check out the Birthday Cards for Men's page with a great selection of card for guys

Greeting Cards UK also dispatched to the EU and Worldwide

Merchandise is packaged in reinforced 'board backed' envelopes or bubble wrap protected to ensure products arrive in good condition. Our courier service is provided by Royal Mail and UK orders has Free Post when you buy 2 cards or more, otherwise 89p per order. We process and forward items as swiftly as possible for week day dispatch by 1st Class post with UK purchases over £20 sent tracked or signed for. For EU and Worldwide deliveries view shipping rates

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